Randy: Mr. Lahey, is this you talking or the liquor? 

Mr. Lahey: Randy…I am the liquor.

            -I am the Liquor, season 5

Ricky: Look, I can't speak without swearing, and I've only got my grade ten, and I haven't had a cigarette since I've been arrested, and I'm ready to f**king snap. So I'd like to make a request under the people's freedom of choices and voices act that I be able to smoke and swear in your courtroom. Because if I can't smoke and swear, I'm f**ked! And so are all these guys. I won't be able to properly express myself at a court level, and that's bulls**t! It's not fair and if you ask me, I think it's a f**king mistrial.

Prosecutor: This man can't represent anyone, your honour! He's a complete and total idiot!

Judge: Now although I am opposed to that kind of language in my courtroom, I'm going to allow it, as unfortunately it is part of your right to a fair trial. So you may proceed, but please, I want to remind you that this is not a carnival. Richard, you have permission to smoke and swear.

            -If I Can't Smoke and Swear I'm F**ked, season 3

Cory: J-Roc raps about gangsters and guns, pimps and ho’s and Compton. The guy's not from Compton, he's just a white kid from a trailer park. He should rap about what he really knows which is living in his mom's trailer eating peanut butter sandwiches.

           

            -Who's the Microphone Assassin?, season 3

Bubbles: Ricky just waltzes in there and becomes the king of the carts. The f**k does he expect me to do for a living? What does he want me to do, go to EI and say hello there, I’ve been hauling shopping carts out of ponds and I’ve been doing it for 18 years...so give me a f**king cheque please. That's not goin' to f**king happen. I haven't even paid into UI...EI…whatever the f**k they call it these days.

            -What in the F**k Happened to Our Trailer Park?, season 2

Ricky: Well I was planning on taking the blame, ‘cause I mean there is a pretty good chance that I did it. Well, I mean I did do it. But Bubbles took the blame, so once someone takes the blame, whaddya do? I couldn't take it then, he had already taken it.

            -You Got to Blame the Thing Up Here, season 5

Mr. Lahey: Do you know what recidivism is Randy?

Randy: I don't have a clue, Mr. Lahey.

Mr. Lahey: That's when people go back to jail over and over and over. I think we got a couple of A-1, class act recidivists up there.

            -Mrs. Peterson's Dog Gets F**ked Up, season 1

Ricky: Unleaded - blue container, supreme - red container, diesel in the green. Okay? Are we clear here guys?

Trevor: Yeah but how can you tell which one is the supreme?

Ricky: What are you stupid? You f**king taste it. Unleaded tastes a little tangy, supreme is kinda sour, and diesel tastes pretty good.

            -If I Can't Smoke and Swear I'm F**ked, season 3

Bubbles: The way I look at it, is you either go to school to learn things or to sell drugs. And Ricky is here to sell drugs.

 

            -The Winds of S**t, season 5

 

 

Julian: Ricky, I'm telling you, you gotta stop growing pot.
Ricky: Come on, man, you can't tell me to do that.
Julian: I'm serious Ricky.
Ricky: You can't tell me to do that. It's like telling the NWA to stop being black!

            -The Bare Pimp Project, season 2

 

 

Mr. Lahey: Y'see, Ricky started off as a little s**tspark from the ol' s**tflint that eventually grew into a s**tbonfire, and driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance, grew into a raging s**tfirestorm.  If I marry Barb, I'll have total control of Sunnyvale, and then I'll be able to unleash a s**tnami tidal wave that will extinguish Ricky and his s**tflames forever.  And with any luck, he'll drown in the unders**t of that wave...s**twaves.

            -Propane, Propane, season 4